Let me tell you something about people. They’re stupid. Now wait just a minute, hear me out. They’re not stupid by nature, no no no, they’re tricked into being stupid. I’ve been around a long time here, and let me tell you something. I’ve seen a lot of things. Too many things. Things that get folks waking up with no kidneys in a bathtub full of rice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what happened to me? Well I’m gonna tell ya. I learned. That’s right that’s right. I observed…and I learned. See that’s the problem with you young folk today, you don’t observe. You never notice the things that are happening right in front of you. Obvious things. Things as clear as an empty pickle jar.
For example, did you know that there is a secret society of window washers pulling the strings for 373 of the Fortune 500 companies in America? They’ve got their hands their pocket, that they do. Who’s pocket, you know better than too ask that. Political financing, lobbying, a decision can’t get made in Washington without window washing money. Do you really think in this day and age we don’t have the technology to create a automated window washer? I know we do, I invented it. That is before I started getting the threats. You see, this secret organization can’t have machines, because how else would they keep tabs on their pawns? They wouldn’t that’s how. They silenced me up right quick.
And let me tell you something about another one of those secret organizations. Are you still reading because I’m still writing! You probably think I’m about to tell you about the freemasons. All you young conspiracy theorists think the freemasons are behind everything. Not this time. I don’ play with your conspiracy theories. I’m about to throw some conspiracy fact your way.
More powerful than any freemason or skull, are those responsible for delivering the mail. That’s right, the letter delivery men (and women) across this great nation. I bet you wouldn’t believe me if I told you that they have been the root of all genetic tracking for the last 50 some-odd years. Well believe it Jr. Every time you lick a stamp, you’re running the risk of those sneaky nightwalkers stealing your DNA. There could be another you walking around right now. Cloned from your stolen genes. Doesn’t seem possible? You think with all of those employees, someone would have had to spill the beans? Well, they tried. At one point, there was an uprising from inside. Employees that wanted to tell the truth. But they didnt stand a chance. Nope, not a prayer. The service is way too powerful. Their media spinners went to work the moment the rumors started arriving. Those that were trying to fight for you were described as going “postal.” They were said to be looney, and you all believed it. The truth was squashed. You can call me crazy, it’s no skin of my bottom, but I’ll tell you something. This is one man that’s using a piece of masking tape to attach a stamp. That is, if I used post in the first place. I haven’t mailed a letter in at least 22 years.
I’d just as soon use dental floss. You young kids and your dental hygiene. You little tykes get me slapping my knee so hard my arthritis acts up. You think that flossing is actually good for your teeth. Well I’m gonna throw some knowledge at ya right now that’s gonna burst the bubbles floating around in your mind. Dental floss is bad. As bad as bromide. I know what you’re gonna say. I know, I know, the dentist told you that threading your teeth with a little piece of waxy string is very necessary. But let me ask you something? Why are you trusting him? He’s not your friend. Dentistry is a business. It’s a business, and you’re dentist wants to get paid. That’s why he recommends the floss. Everyone knows that the waxy substance coating your dental floss is actually an advanced level 3 retroactive polymer that is specifically designed to weaken your gums’ defense system. Why do you think you’re always getting that bloody mouth when you floss too much? That’s your gums’ way of begging you to stop. Nope, flossing is bad, and that dentist of yours knows it. But he wants you to come back. He needs to get that money. The more you floss, the more time you’ll be spending in his chair. Take a good look at that gold chain around his neck while he’s doing his work on you. Paid in full by all those fat cats in the dental floss business. Makes me sick. But I avoid the dentist altogether. I don’t want them reading my thoughts with those x-ray machines of theirs’. Next thing you know you wake up with no kidneys in a bathtub full of rice.
You know, a lot of people are always asking me how I came about all of this information. Where do I have the time, what is my history? Well, lets just say I used to be an inventor. I broke my teeth working for a certain Government Contractor (wink) for over 40 years as an industrial designer. Invented a few things here and there. Had patents stolen from me I list those below but never made a stink. Made enough to keep me fed. Think about that any time you use any industrial-class vehicle. Are you still reading because I am still writing. Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked. It was during those years with the aforementioned government contractor that I first learned the secrets of this world. I was exposed to some things…let me just tell you…things that could get me on a lot of lists. And I’m not talking about the lists you wanna be on. No, some of the things I was exposed to are best locked up in this old head of mine. We’ll all be better off for it. But don’t you worry; I still have plenty of information that I can share with you. Things that will rock the boat, but not quite sink it.
One thing that’s always been on my mind is déjà vu. A lot of conspiracy theorists like to think that déjà vu is some sort of flashback from a different life. Maybe you’ve been there before or something. That’s just stupid. Déjà vu is just the mind playing a trick on you. Nothing more. Some people need to lighten up for God’s sake. But I’ll tell you where some other theorists have gotten it right. That’s the moon landing, Well, at least they’ve gotten it partially right. We never did land on the moon, that’s for sure. How could we have? The moon doesn’t even exist. Hell, outer space doesn’t even exist. Or at least it hasn’t for decades now. Nope, that’s just another one of the illusions set up by the powers that be. You see, they need you to believe that there is more out there. Places to explore. America was founded on this principle. Once we hit the Pacific, we needed somewhere else to look. Outer space is nothing more than an illusion. It’s a shadow cast by the earth’s atmosphere. The stars and the sun you ask? That one had me for a while too, but I eventually figured it out. They’re nothing more than the polynucleotidic gases reacting with one another and causing a illuminated reaction. It’s basic science. Every space expedition that you have seen on the TV has been a hoax. Now listen up and listen good. Unless you enjoy getting videotaped while you're naked in the privacy of your hotel shower, you better think twice about stepping into one of those watery peep shows. It doesn't matter if it's a hotel, motel, or boatel. Every single one’s got a showerhead with a built in micro-cam to record every bubble on your body. Talk about a room with a view. I know you're thinking this must be ludicrous. How can a camera see through all that steam and water? Well looky here, when you turn that shower on, the increased water velocity triggers a pressure activated tri-optic hydro lens embedded dead center in the middle of that two-faced showerhead. And every time you go and adjust the speed-setting, you're actually switching up the focal length, giving the bellhop and all them pervs behind the front desk the time of their lives. You put the show in shower. All across the world, each and every showerhead is specifically engineered to transmit your body onto someone's monitor. Of course if you dismantle it and take a look inside, don't expect to find a thing. Trust me, I've tried. Those sneaky sons of guns don't take any chances. The minute it's dislodged from the base, the camera becomes inconspicuous. Looks just like any old part. It’s top secret Ukranian engineering if I'm not mistaken. As for me, I simply use the sink. I can get 95% of my body clean without showcasing it to any depraved hostess' of hospitality. Scrub a dub dub, keep it movin there bub!
I also got the 411 on hotel maid service. Don’t think for a second they’re just tidying your room. They’re dusting for a whole lot more than soot. Check back here in a few because I’m gonna expose a whole conspiracy that’s gonna sweep the nation, so to speak.
I’ll be damned if every whippersnapper these days ain’t just the silliest creature I have ever laid eyes upon. There’s one thing we all depend on and that’s the sun. However, being the easily manipulated beings that we are, we have once again been targeted by extraterrestrials and tricked into believing the sun causes cancer. For over 30 years we have been trying to avoid its ubiquitous presence. So what does everyone do now, they go to tanning salons and bake like biscuits til they’re skins nice and crisp. Now how is it people are so oblivious to the fact that sunless tanning salons are no other than intergalactic alien tracking stations. Probing devices for crying out loud. Everybody who steps foot into one of those machines comes out a target. Why target those who tan? Because of their distinct social behavioral patterns. The age range is consistent and their desire to attract is of special interest to the ever-watchful aliens, ready to abduct for experimental breeding. There are several documented cases of tanning salon customers who have been impregnated by unknown causes. When questioned, they were unable to recall anything. The common factor? 98% of these those questioned had decorative “alien design” stamps on their lower lateral back, right above the gluteus-maximus. Now there is not one doubt in my mind that these harbingers from space had branded these poor young girls like cattle. Of course they implanted a memory recall device in these gals minds to give them the impression they voluntarily had those things printed on them. So now they’re going around all crazy and such trying to figure out how they got pregnant, blaming every Joe and Bob out there for it. You can see these people on the television, it’s quite a sad sight. They’re treated like circus freaks. So now we have a race of alien children born into our society growing, learning, and ultimately becoming leaders within our political system. It’s a massive takeover write under our noses. And it stinks. I have a list here of popular figures in our society who I without a doubt know to be of extraterrestrial descent. And all of this… it's this is just the beginning. I've got so much more to tell. Check back and I'll tell you all about the Salem Witch Trials. You know they really were all witches? And I can also tell you all about cell phones, and how they're killing off the entire flea population. In the mean time, stay guarded. Don't turn your back or the next thing you know, you'll be waking up with no kidneys in a bathtub full of rice.